The rigged game of life!

​Apparently, if we live to be about 80, we will have just over 4000 weeks on this planet.  4000 weeks... take a minute to think about it.  Just reflect on the week that's just gone.... that's one of those 4000 gone... If you're anything like me that's a pretty sobering thought. 

A while back I read Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks.  It's one of those books that has rocketed into my top 10... Mainly because it's gloriously counter-cultural!!!  He basically calls time on our obsession with squeezing productivity out of every minute & the belief that your sense of self worth is 'completely bound up with how you're using your time.'

"The fundamental problem is that this attitude towards time sets up a rigged game in which it's impossible ever to feel as though you're doing well enough."

Instead, he reminds us: life is short, impossibly finite, there will always be more “to-dos” than we can conquer... He is basically encouraging us to stop playing the rigged game!!

The Hustle Trap
Hustle culture is everywhere... at work, at the school gates, on social media.... and it can be ever so seductive because it makes us feel in control. That little dopamine rush when you cross something off a list? Boom!!!  But the problem is: the list refills instantly, like some sort of productivity Hydra. One head chopped, two more sprout back (yup... I've been reading Greek mythology books too... highly recommend Jessie Burton's Medusa btw!!). 

And when you measure your worth in ticks, you are never “enough.” There is always more you should be doing. That is a treadmill, not a life...  If you haven't already watched it (apologies to those who are a bit sick of me recommending it) do watch Alan Watts's brilliant reading here it is again... it's soooo worth it!!!

The role of coaching
Here is the uncomfortable truth: coaching can get caught in this trap. Too often, coaching is sold as a way to squeeze out more productivity, push for higher performance, keep the machine whirring. But what if the machine is already overheating?

Many of the leaders I work with arrive on the edge of burnout. Brilliant, talented people who have internalised the idea that their value lies in producing more, faster, endlessly. But human beings are not infinite-growth systems. Just like the planet we have finite resources, finite energy, finite weeks. Pretending otherwise is what breaks us.

So rather than fuelling the hustle, what if coaching offered a different kind of support? Not “how do I get more done,” but “how do I live and work in a way that is sustainable, meaningful and enough?”  Supporting clients to push back at the systems that proliferate the hustle...

The Power of “Good Enough”
Here is where Burkeman (and frankly, common sense) throws us a lifeline: “good enough” is not a cop-out. It is liberation.
Perfection is a mirage. You will never reach it, and the chase will shred your energy and joy. But “good enough” is human, real, and achievable. It makes space for what actually matters: conversations, sunsets, laughter, even boredom (remember that?!).

When my clients give themselves permission to embrace “good enough,” something shifts. Suddenly they reclaim energy, space, and presence. They do not collapse if things go off-plan. They rediscover their humanity, and with it, their creativity and resilience.

Decisions, decisions, decisions...
One of Burkeman’s most freeing ideas is that we waste so much time agonising over making the “right” decision... when actually there is no such thing!!  I loved the idea he puts forward of making the decision right once you have made it!

This is a radical reframe for people paralysed by options. It is about courage, commitment, and acceptance, rather than endless second-guessing. It is also an act of mercy on ourselves: we do not have infinite weeks to get it all “right.” Better to choose, act, and crack on with life rather than languish in the illusion of perfection!!!

Planning for the future... or living in the now?
Another couple of sections of the book really made me question my own life and how coaching plays into the narrative of the 'rigged game'.  Burkeman talks of the need to take our plans for what they really are... a thought.  

"We treat our plans as though they are a lasso, thrown from the present around the future... but all a plan is - all it could ever possible by - is a present moment statement of intent.... the future is under no obligation to comply".

He also talks about 'The Last Time'... the fact that we never know when we will do something or see someone or be somewhere for the last time.  We have a tendency to treat all moments as a stepping stone to the next moment... how utterly absurb when you come to think of it!!  Burkeman's invitation is to treat each moment with the "reverence we'd show if it were the final instance of it."

Burkeman's Five Questions
The book finishes with five questions that we are invited to reflect on... not necessarily answer... which I absolutely LOVED!!!  He quoted the Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke's phrase 'to live the questions' as opposed to rush to answer them... so here they are:

• Where in your life or your work are you currently pursuing comfort, when what's called for is a little discomfort?
• Are you holding yourself to, and judging yourself by, standards of productivity or performance that are impossible to meet?
  
  
• In what ways have you yet to accept the fact that you are who you are, not the person you think you ought to be?
  
  
• In which areas of life are you still holding back until you feel like you know what you’re doing?
  
  
• How would you spend your days differently if you didn’t care so much about seeing your actions reach fruition?
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Enjoy luxuriating in these questions... and remember... You have roughly 4000 weeks. The world does not need you to wring yourself out in the name of productivity. It needs you AWAKE... ALIVE... & PRESENT!!!