A red nose is for life... not just for red nose day!

When I sat down to write this I had a completely different topic in mind... to be honest it felt forced... what could I write about that would be useful for people right now?  My mind went to what a coach 'should' be writing about... mindset, thinking patterns, top tips for flourishing/stress management/overwhelm/improving confidence etc.  All of these could absolutely be of use but none of the topics felt top of mind.

So what is actually on my mind is disruption... and lightness... and red noses..! 

​Most of you reading this will have a pretty good, if not highly attuned level of self awareness.  What this can sometimes result in is that we KNOW we are doing the unhelpful stuff & therefore can be susceptible to feelings of frustration, guilt & shame if we continue to do or think what we've done/thought.  What a waste!  My Zen teacher (the brilliant Claire Breeze) would call this 'doing a number on ourselves'.  We all have them... those phrases we might use to describe ourselves or the thoughts we catch ourselves thinking, the unhelpful beliefs we may have about ourselves.  At one of Claire's retreats last year she gave us all red clowns noses to put on every time we caught ourselves 'doing a number'!  I still have it!  It was basically an invitation to lighten up. 

There are lots of ways to work with 'numbers' and each of us will have our own most impactful way... I would like to share mine with you in case it resonates.  Before I do I want to make sure you are under no illusion that I do this all the time and that it works 100% either... as is everyone, I am very much a work in progress!  When I hear myself 'doing a number' I used to either ignore it and carry on... usually spiralling up or down or round or round until whatever it is ran out of puff.  This would leave me drained and full to the brim with guilt & shame & often anger.  'I  know better than this' 'I should get this stuff right, I'm a coach!' 'Am I beyond help?'.   Ahhh yet more numbers coming out!!!  

My alternative to this is to notice the spiral and put a spoke in it... usually this spoke is something to do with laughing at myself (compassionately)... disrupting the normal pattern of thinking and lightening up.  Dancing to loud music in an overexuberant fashion, singing the angry/self deprecating words at myself instead of thinking them, simply laughing out loud or getting up and shaking! What is the point of being so ruddy serious about everything... taking myself too seriously is a definite indicator I've gone too deep inside and am going into comparison mode.  There are times to be serious and there's times to seriously lighten up!  Some may see this as burying your head in the sand... I hear that.  However if you, like I, have a tendency to indulge in some good old over analysis then this could be a cracking way of shaking yourself out of a slump.  

Obviously don't just take my word for it!!  There is loads of research on how humour can help our creativity, collaboration, stress reduction, innovation, overall mental health... Here's a link to a recent study for those that love some empirical back up!

So here are a couple of sentences to finish if you fancy further reflection on this:

• The 'numbers' I do on myself are...
• I find myself funniest (make sure this is done with compassion) when I am....
• I am at my lightest when...
• Life is like...

I would love to hear from you if you find this useful AND if you find it a load of rubbish!  That's fine... it's just a bunch of words in the end... you can take from it what's useful and leave what's not!  Enjoy red noses, everyday!