How a solution focused approach can help change your story!

A chance chat with a friend of mine on the side of a freezing cold rugby pitch reminded me of an approach I tend to use naturally in my coaching for others and yet forget to apply to myself... A LOT!!!  When I'm feeling in a bit of a rut the stories I tell myself can be really negative and I can convince myself that I'm stuck in that rut.  Solution focused brief therapy can help you take charge of that narrative in your head and change it... leading to bigger changes in your world.  Given the times we are currently facing, my belief is we could all do with being more resourced and helping others be more resourced too!

What is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (or SFBT for short)
SFBT is a goal-oriented therapeutic approach that emphasises solutions rather than problems. Developed in the 1980s by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, SFBT is based on the premise that clients possess the internal resources and strengths necessary to overcome their challenges, similar to the underlying principle of coaching.

Rather than focusing on past difficulties or the actual problem itself, this approach encourages individuals to take time to envision their desired future and identify steps to achieve it.  SFBT fits in really well with a positive psychology approach - focusing on strengths, resourcefulness and positive outcomes. 

Techniques
SFBT is distinguished by its focus on positive change and practical solutions, unlike other therapeutic models which tend to dive deeply into the history of the problem, where it came from and how it effects the persons life,  Like positive psychology,  it is often based on interventions.   Thinking about something you would like to change or move closer towards, here are some key interventions that I have adapted to be used on your own or with a partner:

The Miracle Question – This intervention invites you to imagine a scenario in which your problem is suddenly resolved. Ask yourself, "Imagine tonight, while you sleep, a miracle occurs, and your issue is resolved. What would be different when you wake up?",  You would then go onto describe exactly what was going on for you in detail - try and really imagine it and feel what it would be like... and then visualise concrete steps toward improvement.  The invitation is to really slow down and get granular!  Remember this is about YOU as opposed to something that is completely outside of your control changing.  So it could be your response to a work situation as opposed to the work situation itself changing. 

Scaling Questions – Rating your progress or the severity of your concern on a scale (e.g., 1 to 10).  & keeping track of your rating, this technique helps you assess your current situation and recognise even the smallest improvements.  The upshot is the fostering of a sense of progress and self-belief in your ability to change.  Known as self-efficacy this is one of the most important factors in successful change.... believing you can actually make changes in your life!  You can use the evidence to counter any negative talk about being stuck too... I find this REALLY handy!!

Exception Seeking – Instead of focusing on when the problem you have is showing up, you could explore moments when the problem was less pronounced or absent. By identifying the factors that contributed to these exceptions, you can develop strategies to replicate those successful experiences.  Again this can be a brilliant way of building self belief... taking control of what really helps you be in a different space.  We can have a tendency to generalise or even catastrophise our situation - by focusing on the reality we are again building our evidence bank to remember that we can take control.  

Strengths-Based Conversation: Listen to yourself or ask someone else to highlight your existing strengths and capabilities.  This can help reinforce the idea that solutions are within reach & that you have more resources than you think you have.  My friend told me about a brilliant exercise called Moan, moan, moan.  You set a timer for 2 minutes and have a ruddy good moan.... pick a topic and just go for it!  Your partner then reflects back what they heard but ONLY about the positive qualities you have and what they heard that was positive in your situation.  This can be a great state shifter!!!  You could also do this by journaling your moans then picking out the strengths you demonstrate and all the good in your situation.  

As always there are pros and cons to this approach and it isn't a magic wand however I hope this has been useful for you...it's time for me to go do some journaling around this... what's your next move?!